Becoming a parent, one that stays at home, does something to your confidence, it wrecks it, at least mine anyway. I feel like I’ve become a little bit socially awkward and I often stay away from situations where I’ve got to talk to people I don’t know. That makes me sound bad from the onset! It’s really not that bad and I do push myself to be involved with said people but I’ve also turned to this online world and often find myself chatting to people, other bloggers throughout the day, keeping my spirits going and high.
For the past 10 or so years since leaving University I’ve not really done the whole career thing, success and money are not a high priority on my list of achievements. Both are often useful to get by but not essential to make me happy. I’ve floated from admin job to admin job and it made the decision to be a stay at home an easy one. Being the Robots Mum has been the best job in the world and the fact we’re shortly to be adding a sibling to the mix is only going to make it more complete.
The point of this post today though is looking to the future, I guess it’s a little foolish to think too far into the future, but we often talk about when the kids go to school. What are we going to do? At the moment Dave does a bloody good job of being our soul working parent, he provides for us and I try to support him however best I can. It is stressful for him being self-employed and I often worry about him. We both know that when the kids go to school he will take his feet off the pedal a little and not work as hard. This has work implications for me, I need to earn something too!
Going back to work after what will be about 5-6 years (or sooner) is going to be a hard pill for me to swallow. I am very used to being here for the Robot at the moment, being the person he adores, comes to for help. Something I think is oh so important in their first couple years of life. I didn’t want kids to have to pass them off to a stranger to look after, so the fact that we don’t have to do this is amazing.
The next phase for the kids is school and shock, this isn’t 9-5 for them which means one of us parents ideally wants to be at home for them out of school hours. Dave, being self-employed will be in the position to be that parent, so that means I am free to look at a “career” path of my choice. Let’s face it though my current track record is a little bit better than minimum wage in a job that’s not particularly fulfilling or flexible. The thought of taking on that role again makes that pill to swallow even harder.
What if I want to be that parent though, continue the role of being there for my kids after school. I really want that. Yes I might be able to find a job part-time around school hours but you just have to follow Katie over at Squirmy Popple to find that Flexible working is a bit of a biatch to find. So the other option is to fly solo, find that thing that I can do from home. Be my own boss. Not easy when your self belief is rock bottom.
There was a point in this blogs life just over a year ago that I thought I could do the whole parent blogger thing, earn a living from blogging. I’ve a little bit of a following, if I’d continued in the same power horse manner, I could have grown this more and made it happen. I know it’s possible, my inspiration to carry this blog on is with Katie from Mummy in a Tutu. She has made her blog her career, it’s brilliant. What happened here though? Life did, I took the brake off my blogging pedal and chose to keep it fun, keep it going and use it for my little bit of creative space, no pressure.
I’ve been an avid crafter for most of my life and since becoming Mum it took a bit of a back burner. Blogging became the perfect creative space for me with little people around. No fabric or thread lying around, just a laptop and a camera that can easily be put away. Since the Robot started sleeping through the night (perfect timing for the new baby) I have started to play with crafting again. It’s been brilliant, a real passion has flamed in me again. It’s made the blog take a little back seat too, not just the pregnancy to blame on this!
The title of this blog is Pipe Dream, Reality or Hobby? When in the midst of particular crafting projects I have often thought that I could turn it into a job. Make and sell things for a living. I’ve never gone full force at it before though because I’ve never felt good enough or quick enough to make a living. Make a profit. Crafting is notorious for taking too long and the hours put in to a product are often not costed into that product. That’s the thing, I need to make enough to make it viable.
Going back to what I said near the start, I’ve never set out in life to make a fortune, I want to be happy. Would my family be happy if this is what I did to provide for us? Even if it wasn’t much?
The current answer to whether this is a Pipe Dream, Reality or Hobby is honestly all three, eventually. I have a plan, I have time. One thing I do know is that I need to practice. A lot. My plan is to keep writing, keep sharing, keep making. Make things that we need as a family, try some projects that I’m interested in, keep stuff simple.
Keep the pipe dream in sight, practice as a hobby, make it a reality. It doesn’t have to happen tomorrow, my kids are young, I can get better, start to believe in myself and my abilities.
That’s the plan folks, sorry It’s a text heavy post, thanks for taking the time to read. As always I value your opinions, knowledge, advice or simple cheerleading so leave me a comment below…
My blogs are going to soon be few and far between while I kick back a bit and envelope myself in new baby smells. I’ve never really been into instagram but I’ve started a new account for project “pipe dream”. I am enjoying using it and taking pictures of my current projects, so if you are interested in how I am getting on with this then please follow me over at TwoTinyMakes.