Nobody gives you a handbook to your child when they are born. There are countless books, websites and forums available to help. Even family to put their two penny in. It’s become very clear to me that every child is different and every mothers experience is just as different.
I spent hours researching babies during my pregnancy but one thing I wasn’t prepared for was the sheer loneliness I’ve felt during maternity. The first month of The Robots life there were plenty of visitors, the second they were dwindling and then it was just me, my Robot and David.
Now I’m not talking every minute of every day, I can even go weeks without feeling this way but when that door closes, sometimes I get so lonely.
I’ve got my Robot of course, and love him so I do, those smiles just bring me round every time! He is a light that’s always shining when the mist has settled all around. My daytimes are just me and the Robot. My evenings I have hope, David comes home at 5. It gets me through the day knowing That he’ll be there to hold me, bring a third person into our home give me conversation, tell me stories.
The Robot is growing, he’s 8 months now, this lonely feeling is decreasing all the time, he is more interactive now, I think this helps. But six months is a long time to dwell on a topic so low, let’s keep this light on and blow away the mist and follow my lead.
They don’t prepare you for the loneliness, but I have come up with ways to cope, ways to turn this feeling into happiness. By no means a be all cure but just my little way of spreading love behind closed doors:
Touch. Baby massage. As my afternoons have been my loneliest I found around 3pm that nappy off time and baby massage would zap away some time. Connecting with My Robot at this level brings us together, feeling close, feeling happy!
Health. Eat healthily, eat cake, but also eat fruit. Drink pints and pints of water. Healthy body, healthy mind, feeling happy!
Exercise. Shudder. I don’t mean running marathons, but just going for a simple walk can lift my spirit and make me happy!
Play. Any old how, entertaining the Robot, making him smile, making him giggle. What is not to be happy about!?
If people ask me to describe myself I would normally throw the word happy into the mix. But now I know I have a door, a little door, one I try and keep closed.
How do you deal with the loneliness? Do you cling on to your happiness with both hands? Please share with us.