My Kind of Therapy

Well this is one those moments where I don’t know where I am going to go with this, so please bare with me, this is my kinda therapy!   Writing is one of those things that I have discovered in the past year as something that I enjoy but there are days, days like today, days like the past week where it has become a bit of a chore.

When I loaded up my computer I typed in the title The Darker Side of ME.  I have no idea why.  It felt right at that moment.  This is isn’t going to be a blog post about the dark side of me, I did that in December with my SAD post.  I’m not really a dark person, I just think that since becoming a mother and being a stay at home Mum my mood swings about like a yo-yo on ferris wheel.

One minute I’m riding a high and the next I’m so so low again.  It can change in an instant and it’s beyond frustrating. Lets not dwell on this though, I am not doing the dark post today. This is me writing my ‘write because its therapeutic post!’

Excuse me while I go and turn the light on…

Yes, I did actually go and turn the light on right then.  It’s 1 o’clock in the afternoon and it’s dark!

I love my blog, it’s part of me now.   I’m really impressed that I am still blogging away.  I’ve felt a bit stale with it the last few days though so haven’t had the desire to write.  Again, this is what today is all about.

It’s so easy to get bogged down with what other bloggers are doing and see others achieving where you feel like your failing.  I try not to do this and say the saying that gets coined around so much;

Don’t compare your beginning to someone elses end.

Easier said than done.  All the time I have to remind myself that I am doing a good job, my little green-eyed monster gets put back in its box and I try to celebrate others.  Let’s face it though it’s difficult.  It doesn’t help when I am tired.

The Robot, bless him, has turned into a anti-sleep monster, which is ironic because he is upstairs sleeping at the moment.  He must be going through a sleep regression type thing.   The term, it’s just a phase, is very apparent in my life.  It really is just a phase, just a tooth coming through, just an illness, just, just, just.   It’s all sent to me to test my ability to function for a day.

Nobody said parenting would be easy, to a certain extent it is, but it’s when you are tired that is when it gets harder.  It is very monotonous but so are some jobs I have done in the past.  This one is very rewarding.  At least this boss makes my heart melt when he gives me a hug.  When he pokes my nose and goes beep beep in the middle of a sleepless night it all sort of seems ok.   What could be more exciting at 2.30 in the morning.

There is me going off on a tangent slightly.  There are so many exciting things going on in my blog world that I really want to celebrate right now, things I am enjoying but not giving 100%.  I would love for them to be bigger and better.  In reality though I have made the decision to give 100% to my son right now,  if the blog is only running at 80% it doesn’t matter!

My son is the reason I blog.   To have this creative space to call my own to document, rant, celebrate, it makes me a better person.  To do bigger and better things with him so that I can shout about it to the world, go on adventures, get mucky painting.  There is a balance that needs to be adhered to and I think I am finding it and running with it.  I’m happy right now.

It’s amazing what you can achieve in an hour of tap tap tapping away.  I’ve been disturbed by the postman, I’ve been for a wee and made myself a cup of tea while I have written this. Ultimately though it’s made me feel better about life.

If you’re reading this then it means I hit publish and you’ve just read my therapeutic ramblings.  How did you get on with my very muddled mind?

Have you heard about the things I want to celebrate?

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Somewhere inside all of us is the power to change the world, Roald Dahl

46 Comments

  1. It truly is therapeutic to put pen to paper, or in this case fingers to keyboard. I hope you feel lighter for it. I think we all have days when it all gets a bit much, becoming a mother has certainly been life changing and overwhelming! Some days, especially the sleep deprived ones, I feel like burying my responsibilities and just be left to my own antics! But like you it doesn’t take much more than a smile from Elliot to bring me back 🙂 thanks for sharing xx
    Josefine recently posted…Cinnamon Swirl Cake with Lemon IcingMy Profile

  2. Lovely. You know I’m in a shadier tiredy sort of place at the moment but you’re right this job is better than most. Harder than most too! We all feel up and down whether we’re normally up people or down people
    Back to the blog. I think I need to write something…I’ve got a post pending but only minutes in the day here and there (and I’m prioritising weeing, ocassional cooking etc) then my eyes hurt too much in the evening! Will get on it though asap. X
    Lucy at occupation:(m)other recently posted…An Ode to Garden Centres & Wyevale Christmas Event ReviewMy Profile

    1. isntitpretty

      You’ll come out of the fog and forget all about it soon.. Take your time lovely. There is no rush, you will get there. Growing a little person takes time and patience and an abudance of love. concentrate on this and the weeing and perhaps some cooking. The blog will come.

  3. I totally relate to that. I love my blog and it saves my sanity sometimes, but ultimately it’s not my absolute priority right now, my son is. And to me that’s right at this stage of my life (and maybe always, we’ll see). But that does make it hard to see others doing amazing things with their blogging that I know I just don’t have the motivation to achieve at the moment. I hope the sleep regression phase ends for you soon – we’ve always suffered badly with them and sometimes it seems to go on forever, but then ends as suddenly as it started. #FamilyFun
    Katy – Hot Pink Wellingtons recently posted…Dad’s are parents too!My Profile

    1. isntitpretty

      Thank you Katy, it’s nice to know that someone else is feeling similiar to me. I think if we just go for the slowly slowly approach our wonderful blogs will achieve too. Sods law, I write in a post that he doesn’t sleep, the same night he sleeps throught till 5.30 in the morning, which is an achievable time!

  4. I am with you on so many levels – the mood swings of being a mother and the difficulty of keeping perspective about blogging. For a few months at the end of last year I just didn’t have the motivation to blog and so I kind of left it for a bit. I’m feeling a lot more motivated now but I totally get what you mean when you see how other people are doing and wonder why it’s not you – although for me that’s easy to answer as I don’t put the effort in to the promotion or social media! I’d still like to get thousands of readers though I absolutely believe writing is cathartic so I’m glad it worked for you, too #FamilyFun
    Ellen recently posted…What type of parent do you want to be?My Profile

  5. I think writing is very therapeutic. Such a good way to get your feelings out instead of them running around your mind all day. I’m with you with the mood swings too. Laughing one minute, wanting to cry the next. Sleep deprivation for me I think. Molly is definitely in the anti sleep monster group. I honestly don’t know how she functions from so little sleep… I feel like I’m malfunctioning on a daily basis!
    #familyfun
    Sam – StressyMama recently posted…Making New Memories My Profile

  6. I do find writing therapeutic. It doesn’t always matter what I am writing about as long as I am happily at my keyboard. There have been times where I have written more personal posts and I have find writing about the hard times helps me get through them. Another benefit of this is that others give you advice and support on what you are going through and you don’t feel quite as alone.
    #FamilyFun
    Ali Duke recently posted…Make Up Bag EnvyMy Profile

  7. Favourite sentence ” Ultimately though it’s made me feel better about life.” Absolutely love the power of writing and it’s healing properties. I love that you just sat down and thought I’ll let this take me wherever – just wonderful! It still amazes me how therapeutic writing is – it’s always my preferred thing to do whenever I feel low or lost – thank goodness for us bloggers having found blogging hey? Hope the darkness has lifted lovely #FamilyFun
    justsayingmum recently posted…Respecting “No”My Profile

  8. I’m glad you found that blogging helps your mood and allows you to have something of your own to do. I’ve only been a stay at home mom for about 11 weeks but I can see how having some sort of “therapy” for myself is essential. I’ve delved more into my blog as well and it has been wonderful and fun. Thank you for sharing even on an “off” day! #FamilyFun

  9. I find writing blog posts so therapeutic as well. I’ll think that I’ll just write for a few minutes whilst I wait for something to finish in the oven, and then I won’t want to move when the timer beeps! The worry of burnt cake does make me stop writing though, but I’m always itching to write until the article has been finished 🙂 Really interesting post, thanks for sharing 🙂 #familyfun
    BakingBron recently posted…Mini Fig and Walnut CakesMy Profile

  10. Karen it is a light relief to read someone’s thought process rather than a structured article, after all your blog is your place to write what you like. It is not something I am very good at, so it was lovely to benefit from your personal therapy. I love the line about your mood swings being like a yo-yo on a ferris wheel! Take care. #familyfun
    Jo (Mother of Teenagers) recently posted…Fabulous Fifty..What Does It Really Look Like?My Profile

  11. It’s great to use your blog as a way to work through your thoughts and feelings. I definitely use my blog to work through anything that’s going on in my head. So much so, that I can’t bear to be more strategic like I probably should be! I enjoyed reading this and related to it. #familyfun

  12. Oh I know what you mean about ‘those days’ when nothing and everything is getting you down. I have gone through the same moments as you in comparing my blog to others and comparing myself to full-time colleagues at work. But it doesn’t really accomplish anything.

    Your blog is awesome and you’re doing a grand job at both blogging and motherhood from everything I read and see. I know that’s not a complete picture of life but… It’s great you’re using your writing to clear your head. I think that’s one of the real values a blog brings to life. It’s like a diary except you’ll hopefully also get a lot of supportive comments to buoy your mood.

    Also, love the Robot ‘beeps’ your nose in the middle of the night. My daughter does something similar and it’s so cute, even though you want to remind them it’s sleeping time!! #FamilyFun
    Angela Watling recently posted…Rocking MotherhoodMy Profile

  13. Well isnt Roald Dahl a very wise man?! Since becoming a mother I have decided to adjust my view on the world not only to help me feel better about myself but also to see if this is a good outlook on life.
    My new attitude now is success is in the eye of the beholder as is the world. If Roald Dahl says about changing the world, we all know if Angelina Jolie is struggling than little old us will struggle too, but if we downsize the “world” to our household than we have a stronger chance!
    wow you really got me off on a rant all just on the end of your post hahahaha. maybe your freehand rants is catching?!
    i also find naptimes are like the best times to write posts! #familyfun

  14. I completely understand what you say about having mood swings. I’m a stay at home mum too and am often up and down. In my case I think it’s the very fact that I’m a stay at home mum that causes it. It’s not that I don’t enjoy being a SAHM – I do – but because I don’t go out to work, I think I should be on top of everything (looking after Little B, housework, cooking, house renovation etc..). Why shouldn’t I be if I’m home all the time? I put so much pressure on myself.

    Of course, the rational me knows that when you’re looking after a toddler 24/7, all these things have to take a back seat, and it doesn’t matter. But when I’m tired, I feel like I’m failing. Writing is definitely very cathartic and is something I enjoy, but occasionally I wonder if I shouldn’t just shut the laptop, go to bed, and get a couple of extra hours’ sleep! #familyfun
    Twicemicrowaved tea recently posted…So, how did I do?My Profile

  15. I find my most popular posts and posts I’m most proud of are the ones where they don’t feel like a chore and where I’ve written them when I want/when the thought comes to my head. Writing is so therapeutic. Remember it’s your blog so if you don’t feel like writing then don’t. Hope you feel better! #familyfun

  16. Love this quote and really needed to be reminded it – ‘Don’t compare your beginning to someone else’s end.’ I like you feel frustrated that I have so many good ideas for the blog but can’t invest the time I want in it as I have to keep reminding myself the blog is 4th in line to my own family, teaching, the business I am trying to set up…… #familyfun

  17. Stream of consciousness writing is the very best, isn’t it? Better to just open up your brain and let your fingers dance across the keyboard without stopping or censoring yourself. That’s when you are your most authentic, I believe.

    I’m sorry to sound like a dunce, but does it TRULY get dark there at 1 pm this time of year? Or was that an unusually stormy day? If it’s typical, that would be rough for ANYBODY!

    Thank you for always being REAL with your writing. It’s most refreshing!
    #familyfun
    Carolina Twin Mom / Mary Peterson recently posted…How to Neatly Display Your Child’s ArtworkMy Profile

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