I Just Got My p45

The post man just knocked on the door.  A parcel for me? How exciting, I’d ordered it so I knew exactly what was in it! Ooo, a letter, for me equally exciting! I discarded the parcel and set to opening the letter.  It took me a moment to realise what it was, my p45.  Ooh.

A picture of postman pat delivering a letter - on screen it says special delivery's here. Oh.

This is the first time in my life that I’m technically unemployed.

I’m going to be a Stay at Home Mum

There I’ve said it.  That’s it my decision has been made.

It took months of deliberation, well six to be precise, and that’s not counting all the pregnant months.  We discussed me going back part time and sharing the childcare between us. Dave always said he’d do a couple of days if I wanted to go back.  After four years of odd jobs, training and a lot of hard work, Dave became a self employed plumber at the start of the year.  We both decided in the end that he’ll earn more to support us as a family than what I would part time.

This will be my first month without a pay cheque since I was 16!  I think this is going to be the hardest part to deal with. I’ll have to be reliant on Dave for anything money related. We’ve always had a good system in place for bills and food, it’s going to feel weird that I’m not going to contribute towards it.

So I’m Lucky, Yes?

The answer deep down has to be a yes.  Of course I am, who wouldn’t want to see every little step their bundles of joy take?

Karen and Robot having a baby carry hug on a walk together

I realise how lucky I am to get a choice.  Dave is giving me this opportunity to stay at home and look after my son, some couples/single Mums don’t get this luxury.   It doesn’t stop me having this niggle, one that makes me question whether I would want to go back to work, just a couple of days a week, have a bit of grown up time?

It is the days that I have nowhere to go that I wonder can I handle the day in day out of looking after the Robot.  Cleaning up after him and doing the household chores.

The Robot is ten months old, I’ve got through the harder early baby days, and I can see the potential as he moves ever closer to walking and talking.  I know he will bring me more entertainment in the day, more cuddles, and love. I know I’ll convince him to “help” me with the chores, we’ll be a mini team him and I.  I know as he gets older things will change, he’ll be more interactive, it doesn’t mean I can’t question whether I’m doing the right thing!

My Mind is Made Up

Since turning to blogging the decision has become easier to accept.  I’m like a hawk, I’ve spotted Stay at Home Mum posts a mile off.  These are the ones that have helped with the process of acceptance.  Safe with the knowledge that other Mums do it I can now declare myself a stay at home Mum.

Rest assured I think there will be plenty of adventures to share along the way.

Thank you White Camellias and Morgan Prince for such great stay at home Mum pieces that have given me the encouragement I need to take this on!

What is your experience about becoming a stay at home mum?  Has it been easy? Do you regret it? Do you fill your days with activities or get lost in an empty vat? Please let me know!

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Petite Pudding
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31 Comments

  1. I’m really glad you have made the decision and are happy with it. It’s really, really tough, I think. After NG, I had 5 months of unemployment after my London commute became untenable with nursery. We can’t afford for me not to work but I found a brilliant job closer to home and now I’m nearing the end of mat. leave with NC, am looking forward to returning. I think you have to keep trying until you find what makes you happy – and watching your son grow up through toddlerhood will be so amazing! (And, let’s not forget, a very hard job in itself!) #PoCoLo

  2. Aww hon, it’s official! I am sure you will love it and thrive as a family. How wonderful that you won’t miss a thing. I hope you enjoy it, I’m sure there will be tough days but it’ll be worth it.

  3. I honestly commend you – I often think I would love to be a SAHM but then I think about those days like you say where you have nothing to do! I hope everything goes great for you, I am sure Robot will love having his Mummy home all the time and you two will be a fab team X #PuddongLove
    Petite Pudding recently posted…I left my Heart…My Profile

  4. Congratulations! It is so great to have a choice and make such a big decision. i’m sure you’ll love it, and whilst there will be days when you crave a bit of adult conversation, you’ll experience so much more of those precious early years and that is lovely. Enjoy! #KCACOLS

  5. So happy to hear you were able to come to the acceptance of your decision to stay home! It really is a tough choice, but a great one! <3 Fellow bloggers have also been my aid when I was working through the different struggles of adjusting to life at home with a baby all day. The not contributing part definitely left me feeling a little guilty, and it's still something I find myself second guessing every once in awhile. But, I am confident in my decision-and you are too! Enjoy your little Robot! #KCACOLS

  6. Oh congratulations on the decision!! I remember making the same decision and being elated/terrified….but I don’t think you’ll regret it. those days with no plans are the toughest but sometimes some of the most fun. Enjoy!! xx

  7. I’ve been unemployed for almost a year now. I left the UK to live in Denmark at the end of May last year and didn’t have time to get a job. I ended up pregnant 2 months in. Now baby is almost 2 months old and I’m technically a stay at home mum, but not so much by choice.

    I do sometimes feel like I’m not contributing anything. I take care of my daughter when the other half is at work, yes, but I still feel like I don’t do enough. I don’t like not having my own money. I’ve been pondering looking for work but it’s hard not knowing the language much. I’ve even pondered whether to get back into jewellery making and try to sell some of my creations.

    I’m happy that others like yourself are comfortable with staying home. I just need to try and feel comfortable too.

  8. This was a really strange day for me too – getting the confirmation letter from my school that I had chosen not to go back and then getting my P45. It felt like a really scary day. I thought other people who did work would look at me and think I’m lazy (and if I’m honest I know there are certain people, who don’t understand the role of looking after a child, who do just that) – but then I decided to look at what I do, and look at what I achieve and also look at what I go without to be able to spend everyday with my child and I think I’ve more reasons to be proud of what I do that I did when I was working full time. I am now doing a bit of Nannying a few times a week for a little boy who is the same age as Arthur – I take Arthur with me and look after them both. It’s a bit like having twins (i assume) but I do still do the learning journey profiles and reports and assessments etc so I’m still using my previous skills. Being a full time parent and doing it properly and doing it well is a hard job, really rewarding, but in absolutely no way is it any less than anyone else going to different job each day. Only difference is you aren’t on payroll – but I think we get ‘rewarded’ in other ways X #KCACOLS

  9. I was certain I’d already commented on this post but it doesn’t seem to be here! Perhaps I commented in my head and forgot to actually write it!?

    Anyway, I was so pleased that my post helped you. It is a truly wonderful thing to be able to be at home for my children. Is it hard? absolutely, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. You will love it Karen. xxx
    Thanks so much for linking to #PoCoLo
    Morgan Prince recently posted…Post Comment Love 13th – 15th MayMy Profile

    1. isntitpretty

      I agree. I would have said you had commented too! Go figure weird! Maybe it was replying to me on your post! I’m looking forward to it, writing this post cleared my head and am quite excited now!

  10. Sounds like you’ve made the very best decision for your family! I really don’t think you’ll regret it! There are pros and cons to everything, so naturally there will be hard days when you dream of being in an office with a hot cup of coffee, but all the amazing parts of being around your baby will win out in the end! x #KCACOLS

  11. Oh welcome to the club!! lol I was also very happy when my husband gave me the opportunity to choose and as you said not everybody has that choice. I have been a SAHM since 2013. I love been able to be close to my daughters and see them grow. Having said that, I have been feeling the need to grow something by myself since last year. And my blog has been that little thing that is helping me to fulfil that feeling. Now I feel that I’m back to work but doing what I love the most and I can be at home as I can work out my times. So the decision of becoming a SAHM has brought me new opportunities to my life. So I’m so happy for that decision. I wish you the best in this new adventure. Thanks so much for sharing this at #KCACOLS. Hope you can join us on Sunday, 🙂 x
    A Moment With Franca recently posted…The Massed Bands of the Rifles, Horse Guards Parade London GiveawayMy Profile

    1. isntitpretty

      That is great to know other Mums can do it too. I’m looking forward to the next few years ahead. I am glad I started blogging too as it’s giving me an outlet for my brain to function too. #KCACOLS is certainly a brilliant linky x

  12. Pingback: Being a Stay at Home Mum - A Few Months On - Two Tiny Hands - Adventures with the Robot

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